Spontaneous,
Unique appeal,
Rare to find.
Living to please no one but myself.
I am but nearly a mortal.
A daughter of Adam and Eve,
One who carries on my mother
And my father's faults.
I have been told of blunders,
And experienced them for myself.
Frightened by the thought
Of repetition of such events,
I have over-thought this scenario
Of choice and consequence.
Life is full of labours,
Along with impending decisions.
Those given to me by my own Creator.
Sometimes naive,
I am ashamed for my misdeeds.
Trust has been lost,
Awaiting to be earned again.
Determined,
To prove myself worthy,
I'll do anything and everything.
And to prove those wrong,
Who have continuously tried to break me,
Put me down,
Said I couldn't do the impossible.
Nothing is impossible.
I won't let you interfere
With what my heart desires.
You can't break my soul.
Good Job Dary!
ReplyDeleteI loved your poem. It was written very well and your word choice helped your poem a lot. It was very good and interesting to read because your words weren't too cliché. By reading your poem I can see that you are talking about the bad choices that you've made and you are trying to avoid making the same mistakes. You are also one to prove everyone wrong by showing what people what you can actually do and by that you make them proud. I do feel that you can explain more of a situation in which you did make a mistake and that just helped you and pushed yourself to avoid that same situation.
Your graphic was very nice and you really displayed the goddess of the soul by adding the words "body, life and soul" and adding the earthy pictures.
-Desha G
Hey Dary,
ReplyDeleteGood Job(:
Your poem was well written, and I could really feel your emotion, and hear you voice! You make it flow really nicely and have nice transitions. Although you have a balance of your experiences, and your allusion's experiences in your poem, I'm not exactly sure who your allusion is, so maybe state who your comparing with.
Your graphic is nice, and I agree with Desha, the earthy images add a nice touch to your picture. One thing I would suggest though is to make the font size a little bigger, so it "pops" more.
But overall, great job and good luck on the final!
Destrie
Hi Daryenne,
ReplyDeleteLike your teammates, I am not completely sure of your allusion. A "daughter of Adam and Eve" would not actually be an allsion, would it? As Biblically, all of mankind (human beings) are descendants of the first man and woman. So I'm actually not sure this is an allusion.
Is there another Biblical character that you are using as an allusion?
Perhaps we should talk a bit more about this to clarify your ideas.
mrs s
Hey guys, thanks for following through on commenting my poem. Destrie, I'll be sure to make that minor change for you.
ReplyDeleteMrs. S, my allusion is supposed to be Psyche. I looked at her story and used the characteristics/qualities that I felt applied to myself. & actually, since Psyche is a goddess and all, I tried to think of a way to show the reader (someone who does not know of this assignment) that I was talking about myself (as a human being) and not about the actual goddess herself. I guess I could probably come up with a way to re-word that part.. OR maybe move it to another part of my poem ? Possibly towards the end so that the reader sees I'm talking about my allusion, then realizes I was talking about myself ?