Monday, March 22, 2010

I Believe (Final)

Some say effective communication strengthens the relationship and bond between a parent and their child. It's kind of awkward you know, hearing my friends talking to their mother or father as if they were one of their best friends. Its just another one of those thoughts that you get when you hear or see something that makes you wonder what it would be like if you were in that scenario. There were times in my life when I wished that I could've experienced the same, but that time came a bit too late.

I was raised by my grandparents. Never really knew my mom. Wish I did though. She passed away when I was eleven days old. My dad was never really a big part of my life after she was gone. He was just, there every now and then. Eventually, my grandparents adopted me. I never really understood the things that happened during my younger years, until I grew older.

There were many women in my dad's life. It sort of bothered me, but all I wanted was for my dad to be happy. And I told myself that I'd go along with whatever decision he made. But one day, my feelings towards my dad changed.

I remember coming home after school, seeing my dad and his girlfriend standing by the front door smiling at me. It started off as a normal conversation, until my dad said, "How would you feel if she were to become your mother?" I looked at his girlfriend, then back to at him, and I lied. I simply said, "I would be happy with that." But the worst was yet to come. She revealed her left hand to me, and on her ring finger was an engagement ring. I was speechless. The moment I laid my eyes on that ring, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my heart.

As the lying continued over the years, I’ve developed bitterness towards my father. I've kept my feelings bottled up for so long that it's pushed me too far away to create a bond with him now. Don't get me wrong; I love my dad very dearly. I appreciate my dad's effort in trying to become a part of my life as my father. But why only now? People always say "better late than never", but honestly, I feel as if it was too late for my dad. I've grown up and matured perfectly fine into a young lady without him being there. And thanks to him, I've learned to be independent and make the most of things. In this case, the people I have in my life. I’m Daryenne’Noel Ramirez, and I believe everyone has the potential to make the best of what they have with their lives. God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle, and you are never alone.

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